Dealing with Disappointment as an Equestrian


A decidedly unfun thing we all feel from time to time in our world with horses (and beyond!). Today I’m going to be talking about why its important to feel those feels, even if they are uncomfortable, and a-few ways you can actually utilise them!

We’ve all felt it. You’re out showjumping and you’re having a great round and then you knock a pole down. You fudge up your dressage test you spent weeks prepping for. You arrive at a clinic with your normally calm horse and for whatever reason on that day, they will not settle and you don’t quite get the experience you were looking forward to.

Those feelings of disappointment might be incredibly visceral, or they may be light and fleeting, but all the same, they are to be felt, and listened to.

It is so important, that we do not dismiss uncomfortable feelings. As an equestrian mindset coach who specialises in helping people build a more positive, confident mindset, you might think I’d tell you to push those feelings away, ignore them, or help you get rid of them…however the truth is, I encourage you to allow yourself to FEEL them. These feels, while not light and fluffy, are just as valid as all the others. Joy, happiness, anger, sadness, envy, grief, love, gratitude…all these feelings are experiences that we were put on this planet to feel, and while some feel nicer than others, it does not mean that they are more or less important. Each is here to teach us something and to help us grow.

By trying to push ‘negative’ feelings away or bury them, we inevitably are saving them for a later date, in which they will come back and bite us on the bum when we least expect it!

So, I invite you next time this feeling pops up, to allow yourself to feel it. Cry if you need to, talk about it if it feels helpful, journal it out…do whatever is helpful to help you feel it, so you can move through it.

Disappointment doesn’t mean you should stop, shrink back or give up whatever it is you have been working on. In fact the level at which you feel it is actually a sign of how much you care about ‘that thing’ and that you should keep going!

So how can we utilise it?

Firstly…feel it, and remember its a sign of how much you care.

Next, look at what ‘went wrong’ and what you can learn from the experience. What would you do differently? What can you take away from it to help you/your horse grow and improve?

Finally, make a plan to implement your takeaways, and give yourself and your horse, empathy and compassion as you do. Remember, progress is not linear, and it is in those moments of percieved struggle, that we truly learn.

You’ve got this.

I hope that was helpful! I talk more on this subject in my most recent podcast episode linked below, head there for a listen and be sure to share and subscribe if you find it helpful!

Some Advice for Ch-Ch-Changes…

We are finally moving towards (dare I say it) Spring now, the days are getting longer (hooray!) and the weather is slightly milder, daffodils are popping up everywhere and blossom is now starting to peep out from the trees.

As delightful as this is, you may have also noticed ‘spring-like’ changes in your horses too! I know Snoox and his girlfriend have been suddenly more spritely, and I’ve had many reports from friends and clients of their horses acting and feeling the same!

While its great to know that your horses are ‘feeling well’, changes in their behavior, admittedly, can be a bit frustrating. You may be seeing more adverse behaviors such as heightened awareness and spookiness, low attention spans, and general ‘freshness’ from your horse. If you are reading this and can relate, please know, you are not alone! Seasonal changes are a real thing when it comes to horse ownership, and as your horse is a living thing, and connected to nature as much as we are, shifts in daylight patterns and changes in weather affect us all.

So how can we work with our horses through these seasonal transitions…and remain sane, loving partners to our horses??

Here are some tips that I hope help!!

  1. Know and Understand, that this ‘is a thing’ and it will pass.

It can be so frustrating when you’ve been making progress with your horse, or you have things you want to achieve, and suddenly their behavior has changed, and you’re not quite getting what you want and need from your furry pal. Here its important to understand, this will pass, look at the positives in the situation (i.e. this means the weather is getting better, its great that your horse is feeling well etc) and try not to get bogged down in annoyance and frustration.

2. On Days Where You Bring In a Fire Breathing Dragon From the Paddock..

You have two options. Decide that today is not the day, pick their feet out, check they’re alive and well, and chuck them back out again to try again tomorrow…or…commit to your session, take a breath, and minimise what you work on. If you choose option 1, know that this is ok, there is no win or lose, sometimes, its just not worth the hassle! If you choose option 2, break down your session, really focus on just getting your horses focus in the session, and reward moments of relaxation and focus from your horse. Lots and lots of transitions are always helpful to get your horses focus in a session.

3. Consider some Herbal Help!

I change Snoox’s supplements depending on the seasons, to best suit his needs and make sure he stays nourished and healthy all year round. I LOVE using herbal support! This time of year if he was being consistently crackers (which for now its just every now and then so we’re ok), I might consider bringing some calming herbs into his diet such as chamomile, valerian, or passionflower.

The biggest thing to remember here, is that this will all pass, and to stay positive, not to take any behaviour personally, and to be kind to yourself, and your horse, as we transition through the seasons.

I hope this was helpful, please feel free to email me at with any questions or comments!

Reframing ‘Have To’ to ‘Get To’

I write to you from my sick bed! I can’t remember the last time I had a cold, and honestly, I’d started to take pride in the fact that I haven’t had one in I don’t know how long! I’d even started to think that I must have some cool kind of immunity thing going on.

But nope. That is not the case! I have a cold, and its the mother of all blooming colds. I’ve been sneezing my head off, my eyes won’t stop watering to the point that one of them is swollen, and I just generally feel bloody miserable.I’m surrounded by tissues, I’ve been drinking immune herbal tea like its going out of fashion (and its not blooming working!!!) and Mavis keeps giving me funny looks every time it looks like I’m going to sneeze. (is anyone elses dog mortified when their humans sneeze or is it just mine..?!)

Safe to say, I’m not feeling the most joyful right now, and I am having to surrender to rest. After I’ve finished this I’ll be taking a nap!

My question for you to ponder today, is why we never really fully appreciate our health, and feeling ‘normal’ until we get sick?! I always talk about gratitude and appreciation, and how important it is in our lives in general and with our horses, and its just as important with our health too.

I think its so important to take the time to appreciate what we have, and that we GET to do things. We get ‘should’ and ‘have to’ so mixed up, and we forget that we in fact are very privileged in this life, and we’re very lucky to do the things with our horses that we sometimes shy away from. We GET to spend time with our horses. We GET to have the energy, health, and physical function to muck them out, we GET to have the time and the energy to poo pick their paddocks, we GET to have the capacity (most of the time!!) to pay their livery, feed, and vet bills.

This reframe can be so powerful in changing how we look at life, and therefore improving our overall well-being and the time we spend with our horses. I invite you to try that reframe for afew days to see what you think, sprinkling more gratitude and appreciation into our lives can do some very profound things for our mindset, and our relationships with our equine friends.

Above all we should never forget how lucky we are, or what an honor it is to live our lives alongside our horses.

If you you’d like to explore mindset reframes further with me, head over to my services page to see how I can help you!

Otherwise, I hope you found that helpful, have a great day!

Over and Out!

Beating the Winter Blues

Hello All and a Happy New Year!

This time of year, motivation can be incredibly difficult. If you live in the northern hemisphere like me, the shorter, darker days and grim weather can leave you feeling drained and unmotivated, and despite the ‘new year new me’ narratives that are currently floating around…you may find yourself feeling a little stuck and stagnant when it comes to life with your horse.

First of all, please know, this is OK, and totally normal.

Believe it or not, we are meant to actually slow down in winter. Winter is a time for reflection, hibernation, and recalibration. Society nowadays will tell you otherwise, and we have all been conditioned to just keep going and to ‘do,do,do’ whatever the time of year.

But think for a moment about what the rest of the planet does this time of year. By planet, I mean, the earth, and nature, not us humans. Animals hibernate or slow down, allowing more time for rest and sleep, and trees shed their leaves, preserving their energy. Nature is showing us the importance of restoration, and doing less, in order to blossom, bloom, and come alive again in the spring and into the rest of the year. The trees and animals don’t just keep pushing all year round, because they’d burn out…so why do we?

Unless you’re competing or have pressing things you need to be doing with your horse over the winter (or you’re lucky enough to have an indoor arena and hot water etc)…it is OK to slow down and pair back your work with your horse over the winter.

So many of us feel pressured to keep ‘doing’, and then feel frustrated or disappointed when we can’t ‘work’ our horses this time of year. What about, if we looked at this time of year as a time to relax a little, to spend time just ‘being’ with our horses, maybe working on some ‘lighter’ and alternative things with our horses like trick training or working on things we wouldn’t normally make the time to do, like trailer loading or mounting block training?

If you’re reading this and you have been feeling frustrated about the lack of daylight or the extreme mud we’ve been having, please know you are not alone, and cut yourself some slack! This isn’t a race, and slowing down and allowing you and your horse some rest time this winter is totally ok.

If you are feeling the need to feel like you’re doing ‘something’, I happen to have two things that will help you!

1. I ran a lovely 2 hour Goal Setting for Equestrians Workshop last night to help you set aligned goals for the coming year with your horse, if you’d like to grab your copy of the recording, drop me an email at and I’ll send you the payment details and the link! (recording priced at £12)
2. For some more ideas of things you can do this winter with your horse in short sessions to add more variety to your routine, I have some Winter PDFS you can download for just £5.55! Click the link for more info!

Otherwise, I’ll see you back here soon with another blog, and the good news is, the days will keep getting longer from here on out, and hopefully, the weather will get better too!

Happy New Year All!

Kim 🙂

An Attitude of Gratitude

Today I write to you from one of my favorite cafes, I’m currently parked up on a picnic bench, under a willow tree, listening to incredibly vibey music and sipping on a coconut cappuccino. Just to add to the scene, I am post yoga class too!

In this moment, all I can feel is IMMENSE gratitude. If I was a cat, (which honestly is not an animal I relate to!) I swear I’d be purring right now!

This time 18 months ago, I was MISERABLE. I had made a very questionable decision, and upped and moved my life, myself, and my animals to a bad place, with bad people. All because I didn’t feel like I was quite good enough to fully put myself out there with my business yet, I felt I wasn’t quite ready, and I was sure I still had more to learn, before I ‘deserved’ to share myself and my knowledge with others.

What I DID learn, was that A) I now have considerably more self worth/respect for myself than I ever have, and therefore I will not put myself through rubbish that I don’t need to  B) I know more than I thought and C) The power of ‘I’ll show you itis’ is incredibly strong, and when you remember things happen for you and not to you, you can use it to light a fire under your ass to do what you need to do to reach your goals!

Before I left this place, I was not in a good spot mentally, I felt stuck, abit broken, and all I dreamed of was this moment that I’m sat in right now, being fully self employed, running my business, being my own boss, and doing something I truly love…helping people and their horses. (and occasionally doing it sat in a lovely cafe sipping coffee!)

And while I am by no means at the point where I want to be, and the biz still has ALOT of growing left to do to help support me, the animals, and living my best life…I am SO appreciative of this journey.

Some days things are difficult, some days I feel like I put myself out there and no ones listening, some days I worry I’m not going to make enough money, and wonder if I should just get ‘a proper job’ But days like today, I remember why I will KEEP doing this. 

Working for myself, doing what I love, helping people quite literally change their lives and that of their horses, means the world. It is SUCH a privilege and an honor, and is definitely why I was put on this earth. 

In hard moments, and when you feel like life isn’t quite going your way (with your horse or otherwise), finding small moments of joy and gratitude is so incredibly important. The small things really are the big things.

Last week we touched on gratitude, and having a gratitude practice inside of EEP, and this practice always has a profound affect on my students.

So if you don’t have a gratitude practice, I invite you to give it a try, for a day, or even a week.

And you’ll find more and more to be grateful for, and suddenly, your whole outlook on life has changed.

So there you go!

I hope this landed with whomever it needed to!